Commercial
by Butterfly Bandage
Summary: The Straw Hats are called in to do an extremely stupid commercial. Commercial Two now up!
1. Oscar Meyer

**Just a one shot to remind ya'll that little old Neko is still kicking. Okay, why I wrote this, I have no idea. I guess I was just watching tv and reading One Piece, and that commercial came on. (I won't give it away)**

* * *

**Director:** Awright, people! This is a brand new commercial, so no screw-ups!

**Zoro:** I cannot BELIEVE we are doing this.

**Nami:** If it gets us Beli, I'm happy.

**Zoro:** We're degrading ourselves on television, how is this making you happy?

**Sanji:** It could be worse...

**Zoro:** HOW CAN THIS SCRIPT POSSIBLY BE WORSE?

**Chopper:** What are we doing, anyway?

**Usopp:** Well, the people on the tv have decided that I, the Great Caption Usopp, am also the Great Actor Usopp, and so they signed a contract... _(gets hit on the head by Straw Hats)_ Uh.. I mean, we're gonna be on the tv.

**Luffy:** This is so COOL!

**Director:** Okay, let's get going! Now, remember, the script calls for you all to go in this order; Luffy, Zoro, Nami, Usopp, Sanji, Robin, and Chopper. Okay, we're on in 5...

**Zoro:** This is ridiculus...

**Director:** 4...

**Nami:** Shut up, already, you big whiner...

**Director:** 3...

**Sanji:** Nami-san is right. You whine too much..

**Director:** 2...

**Nami:** Thank you!

**Director:** ACTION!

**Luffy:** Myyyyyy bologna has a first name!

**Zoro:** _(through gritted teeth)_ It's O-S-C-A-R.

**Nami:** My bologna has a second name!

**Usopp:** It's M-A-Y-E-R!

**Sanji:** Oh, I love to eat it everyday,

**Robin:** And if you ask me why, I'll say...

**Chopper:** 'Cuz Oscar Mayer has a way,

**All:** WITH B-O-L-O-G-N-A!

**Director:** And cut! That was great! Perfect. Okay, one take is all we'll need.

**Zoro:** Thank god...

**Sanji:** You sounded wonderful, Nami-san. You too, Robin-chan.

**Zoro:** Oh, shut up.

**Director:** Okay, next time, we want Zoro to sing the 'I Wish I Was An Oscar Mayer Weiner' song.

**Straw Hats:** _(All burst out laughing, while Zoro takes out his red sword.)_

**Zoro:** GO TO HELL, YOU DAMNED ASSHOLE OF A DIRECTOR! _GO TO HELL_!

**Director:** Oh crap! (runs away) No, stop! I was kidding! OW! I only have one head, you know!

END

_Epilouge_

_The commercial aired not to long after that, and the crew got 1 million Beli each. The crew got great reviews, especially Zoro, who everyone says was so cute. All who said that had a slow and painful death. Of course, Sanji found this as another reason to taunt Zoro, and the rivalry between them grew deeper. Robin didn't care too much, and everytime the commercial came on, Luffy would scream for the crew to come in so they could watch._

* * *

**XD That's it. Just some stupid one shot I had to write. I don't know why. I had fun writing this though..**


	2. One Piece Advantics

**Okay, not only have I decided to not make this a one shot, but this time, I had a bit of help. Ya see, we (meaning my friends and I) were sitting around in P.E. talking about commercials, and we broke into the whole 'Canine Advantics' song. That's when it hit me._ Hell with a one shot, this is so going to be a series!_ So, anyways, my friends and I worked hard to rewrite and create these lyrics, so, if you share this with friends, family, or mortal enemies, don't take credit. Oh, and the cupcake part is totally Kelly's. Isn't that right, Kelly? _(evil smile)_ So anyways, thanks, Lilia, Jamie, and Kelly for helping me make another great chapter. This one's totally for you!**

_

* * *

__(A picture of Luffy sitting at a desk writing appears)_

Luffy: Hello Mother, _(Luffy's Mother)_ hello Father! _(Luffy's father)  
_These pesky pirates _(all the pirates he's fought)_ really bother.  
Thanks for the package _(little brown box)_, that's why I'm writing _(back to Luffy)_.  
One Piece Advantics really stops all the fighting!

Eating, sleeping, steal from the kitchen, _(Luffy sneaking food out of the fridge and Sanji running in)  
_I'm not fighting, Nami's not bitchin' _(Nami hold out a cupcake looking demented as she goes 'Want a cupcake?')_

Can't wait to show you,  
all my new tricks _(Gomu Gomu no Boring!)_

Thanks again for sending me One Piece Advantics!

_(Fades to black)_

_(Cut to all the men sitting on the couch looking drunk, with lazy left eyes, matted hair, and the works, and Nami vibrating like a phone. Nico and Chopper seem to be the only ones not under the influence of this new drug...er, dog food)_

Sanji: _(dully)_ It's like the equivilant to Ridelin... _(falls over couch, and just his legs are showing)_

Zoro: _(even more dully)_ Or whiskey... _(he also falls over)_

Usopp: _(if possible, even more dully)_ In dog food form... _(he does the same)_

Chopper: _(running around franctically)_ I told you you shouldn't have eaten so much!

Nami: _(continues to vibrate and laugh insanely)_

Robin: _(continues to read)_

Luffy: Well, we 'ave ta eat it. My parents sent it t' me... _(joins the other males residing on the floor)_

Sanji: _(hands points up)_ Luffy, you ass. That wasn't from your parents...

Zoro: They just sent it to us because you were in the commerical for it.

Usopp: Just like the bologna.

Luffy: Oh. Those bastards!

End... for now. Mwa ha ha ha ha ha! Oh. Sorry 'bout that.

* * *

**As you can see, me and my friends have nothing better to do with our lives, other then draw and fantisize over anime characters. Shi-kun... Kabuto-san...Sanji-kun..._ (little heart eyes)._ Ah, well. Nya!**


End file.
